Joel's Birth Story-Part 2, Labor, Delivery, and Postpartum
I was one day shy of my official due date, and trying not to worry. Having been induced twice before, I wondered if my body could go into labor on its own. On this day, I had several hours of steady contractions and thought I could be close to delivery. We went to Bryan to do some shopping and ended up at my sister in law's house so I could rest and time contractions. I drank a lot of red raspberry leaf tea that day in hopes of bringing labor on, but the contractions stopped that evening and we went home.
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| Me at 40 weeks! |
Monday, July 23
I had my regular weekly appointment with my midwife and she gave me some birth prep herbs to take since I was officially past 40 weeks. Then we went to Mimi and Papa's and later my sister in law's house for dinner. At one point, I began to have stronger, uncomfortable, regular contractions. At 10 pm we finally decided to head back home because the contractions had faded. As soon as we started on our way my contractions once again picked up in intensity. My whole pregnancy I was concerned with living so far (50 minutes) from the birth center. I did not want to have a long, miserable car ride or have the baby in the car. Not knowing if this was the real thing we decided to sit in a gas station parking lot and time contractions. We debated on what to do then finally decided to meet my midwife, Shalynn, at the birth center at around 11:30. I was at 3 cm but the contractions stopped shortly after arriving. It was after midnight and we were all so tired so we ended up staying in a hotel just in case labor decided to pick back up. I found out later that Lorelai's friend, Alyssa, who is also a member of our youth group was up with intense cramps for no apparent reason at that exact same time. I am friends with her mom, Karen, and had asked that she attend the birth for prayer support. I had given her a list of things to pray about so she (Karen) had been praying for me for a while. After they found out what happened Monday night, Alyssa took to intercessory prayer for me as well. She had other "sympathy symptoms" that whole week. She didn't sleep well and had heartburn. Those are not typical struggles for a healthy teenage girl. After all that, nothing happened until after I went to bed on Wednesday night.
Thursday, July 26 (exactly 9 months from my October 26th Birthday)
12:15 a.m.
I was awakened by a contraction and began timing after I had two or three pretty close together. I woke Nick up and told him what I was doing, but told him to go back to sleep and I'd keep him posted. Little did I know that I wouldn't go back to sleep until the next night. I took a warm bath because I had read that it would stop false labor but if it was real labor it would continue, and it did. The contractions didn't hurt but they were strong and they were coming consistently. The night was very peaceful. I was very excited about the possibility of it being Joel's birthday. I sat in the silence in our living room just reading, praying, and timing contractions.
5:00 a.m.
We decided to wake the kids up and head to Mimi and Papa's in College Station. Every one of them jumped right up- the boys were so giggly that we had to ask them to calm down in the car. They had gone to bed wondering if they'd be woken up so many nights at that point. Everyday in July we all wondered if today would be the day. It was surreal because I didn't even realize I was envisioning and hoping for a middle of the night road trip too. We went through McDonalds drive thru for breakfast on our way. I had a sausage biscuit, a parfait, and a large water. My contractions were 3-5 minutes apart lasting almost a minute but they weren't the least bit painful. I was excited each time they would begin because that meant I was getting closer to meeting my baby boy. I would stop talking and breath deeply and slowly until it passed.
7:30 a.m.
We arrived at the birth center. When Shalynn checked me I was already 7-8cm and 90% effaced (and still in zero pain). Wow! We got my bag unpacked. We started the essential oils going in the diffuser, turned on the little battery operated tea light candles I bought on sale at Aldi, Shalynn taped my scriptures up on the wall, turned on the worship playlist I had made on Spotify for my labor, and dimmed the lights. I sat on my birth ball and Nick read the prayers I had marked in "Supernatural Childbirth." At one point I decided to get in the tub and Nick was kneeling by the tub holding my hand. The song "I Get to be The One" by JJ Heller came on and we both just started crying. The reality of the moment and the presence of God was so strong. That was a beautiful moment that I will never forget. The peace that we felt was tangible and the air was thick with the presence of God. My parents joined us at the birth center just after I decided to get out of the tub. Then my friend Karen and her daughter Alyssa arrived. Karen told me that Alyssa, who is normally one of the last to wake up in their house, met her in their hallway as she was getting up to get ready to come. We laughed and talked in between contractions. During contractions Karen would either lay her hands on me and pray or worship in the corner. It was glorious and just how I imagined.
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| My labor room at Jubilee Birth Center. |
10:30 a.m.
My water broke as I was walking across the room. It was clear so all was looking good. Shortly after though, my midwife noticed meconium and the atmosphere of the room began to shift as I saw the concern on the midwives' faces. From here on I was very much inside my own head. I don't remember saying much but the thoughts in my head were many.
11:30 a.m.
We decided to go to the hospital because Joel's heart rate kept dropping dangerously low during contractions. Shalynn thought the umbilical cord was probably wrapped around his neck. Although I was disappointed, I didn't hesitate. The only thing that mattered at that point was my baby's safety. Shalynn rode with us in the backseat and prayed the whole way there, which was about a mile. The thoughts going through my mind were scary. Was my baby still alive? Was his heart rate dropping as we were on our way? Was I about to be rushed into an emergency c-section? I was holding the tubes that were pushing oxygen in my nose and trying to focus on breathing as deeply as I could for my baby. I kept telling myself that everything was going to be OK because God had promised me that, but there was that nagging dread of what was to come in this new environment with a new team. Mixed in with all of those thoughts and emotions was a peace that kept me from flipping out.
(During my pregnancy God gave me two words to cling to during my birth. He told me through several different scriptures and experiences that I was "safe" and I was "strong." I was safe because I was "in Christ" according to 1 Corinthians 5:17 and I was strong because Christ is "in me" according to Colossians 1:27. Now I know that He did keep me and Joel both safe, and I definitely feel strong now that it's over. When God gives you a promise, believe it.)
When we got to the room and I got all hooked up to everything the doctor assessed the situation. I was still at around 8 cm, and he told me that he wanted to monitor me for a few contractions to see how Joel was tolerating the labor. I couldn't comprehend this turn of events and this is when my one regret happened. I remember Shalynn asking me if I wanted to turn on my music and in the middle of the pain and honestly, fear, I said I didn't know. I so wish I would have said yes. I needed those words to regain my focus and trust in God because in those moments my thoughts were the opposite of faith. Before his heart rate dropped I felt free to move around in whatever position I felt like I needed to be in for my own comfort. At the hospital it was all about doing exactly what they told me to do for Joel's benefit. When they said roll on my side, I rolled on my side. When they said to get on my hands and knees, I got on my hands and knees. Unfortunately for me, that was where I stayed for the majority of the time and it was very painful. With every contraction I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in the middle of my lower abdomen that almost took my breath away and my hips felt like they were coming apart. Shalynn showed Nick how to apply counter pressure to my hips and that at least made it bearable. I remember telling Nick to squeeze harder and I could hear Shalynn reminding me to breathe and relax my face. I don't feel like I did a very good job of that, but if she hadn't been there reminding me I'm sure I wouldn't have made it as long as I did without asking for an epidural.
1:30 p.m.
The nurse checked me and said I was 10 cm. The room filled with people and I was told to lay back, put my feet in the stirrups, and start pushing. That is not how I wanted to push. I wanted to use gravity and at least be propped up on the bed. Although I had already delivered three babies, I had always had an epidural so I couldn't actually feel what was going on. What I was feeling was not what I had expected to feel though. There was no sensation that told me it was time to push. I was trying to explain that to the doctor without sounding like a big baby who just didn't want to feel the pain. I remember asking that I not have to put my feet in the stirrups. I think he unwillingly obliged since I wasn't refusing to push altogether. I wasn't being unreasonable (that I remember anyway) and he was very open to what I was feeling/wanting. Since there wasn't much progress being made, he checked me and discovered that I was actually not complete yet. Everyone who had just rushed in a few minutes before filed out as quickly as they had arrived. I remember sitting there barely able to keep my eyes open. I had then been in labor for over 12 hours on about 3 hours of sleep. I was exhausted. I was worried about my baby. I was discouraged. How long were they going to let me lie there stuck at 8 cm? Thinking maybe I was just too tense to finish dilating I asked for an epidural so I could relax. The nurse asked if I wanted to wait a bit more or get it now and I quickly said, "now."
2:10 p.m.
No sooner had I asked for an epidural, I was lying on my side and Joel *suddenly* dropped into position. I could literally feel him about to come out. That was the sensation I was expecting. Shalynn must have noticed a difference in my facial expression or the sounds that were coming out of my mouth and she asked me if I felt something different. I said, "oh yeah" (or something like that). The nurse checked me and sure enough it was go time. I looked at Nick and said, "Oh CRAP!" What a realization that was. There was no turning back. I was about to meet my boy.
I found out later that my friend, Karen, who somehow didn't end up in the delivery room with me like I wanted was out getting lunch for herself, Alyssa, and Lorelai at this moment and she was still praying for me. She felt God say her to her that He is the name above every name. She realized that He was the name above c-sections so she declared right there in her car that I would not need a c-section and that I would be able to have him naturally. She looked at her clock when she finished praying and it was 2:10. Shalynn told me, not knowing of this, that she didn't look at the clock but I couldn't have pushed more than 10 minutes! I just know Karen's prayer is what caused me to finish dilating so Joel could be born the way I had hoped and prayed for.
2:20 p.m.
I was allowed to stay on my side and instead of grabbing Nick's hand I somehow got a hold of his "love handles" as he calls them when telling this story. I had a grip on him and the bed rail like you wouldn't believe. We were both shocked that he didn't have bruises the next day. My eyes were closed and my memories of these moments are blurry, but I was told I was screaming. It wasn't out of pain. Pushing was actually a relief. The kind of relief that is pretty much involuntary. There was a time when the doctor told me to roll over on my back. I found out later Joel's shoulders were stuck. The doctor was able to quickly dislodge them and out he came. What a relief that was! The cord was, in fact, around his neck one time so the doctor wasn't able to lay Joel on my chest immediately like I wanted. The nurses worked on him for a little while before wrapping him up and giving him to me. I heard my mom saying, "he's beautiful!" over and over again. And he sure was. After 14 hours and 5 minutes of labor, Joel Jason Burns entered the world at 9 pounds 5 ounces and 21 1/2 inches long! Joel means "the Lord God Almighty is God" and Jason means "healer" after his uncle Jason. We sure miss him and we know that he would have loved this little boy like he loved all his nieces and nephews.
I did not tear and I did not hemorrhage after delivery! God is so good! The next hour was spent alone with Nick while I enjoyed nursing my perfect baby boy skin to skin. He latched on immediately and I am still exclusively and successfully breastfeeding. It has come so naturally and easily this time, so I'm hoping to make it at least a year for the first time.
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| Big siblings adoring their baby brother when we got home from the hospital. |
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| My friend and prayer warrior, Karen. |
My midwife, Shalynn, by Joel's footprints at Jubilee.
Wednesday, August 1 6 days after delivery
We had spent the night at Nick's parents in College Station. It was our first real outing since I had the baby. I was obviously feeling pretty good. Nick had been off work so he was taking really good care of me. In fact, I had just finished a grocery list and he was about to go grocery shopping for me when I suddenly felt a gush. That wasn't too shocking in itself, but it kept gushing. I felt the back of my shorts and sure enough there was blood on my hand. I called for Nick to bring me a towel. I felt like someone had turned a faucet on and left it running. I had no control over it. Nick called Shalynn and she told him to have me push on my stomach until I found something hard (my uterus) and just keep pushing it while en route to the ER, so that's what we did. There was a lot of blood and the concern I had about my low platelet count was coming to pass when I thought I was in the clear. We couldn't get to the ER fast enough. I tend to go to the worst case scenario and that's where my brain was going. I honestly thought I was going to bleed to death. It was beyond terrifying. I hemorrhaged right after Lorelai was born and without going into details I'll just say that it was traumatic. Those memories were also flashing through my mind as we drove.
My wonderful sister in law, Kristie, met me at the ER entrance at the hospital she works at. I was glad because I didn't even take time to put my shoes on. The nurse put an IV in and blood spurted out all over my hand and on the floor then the doctor came in and talked to me about the possibility of a blood transfusion. One thing I forgot to mention was that when I was in the hospital I was told that I had antibodies in my blood, whatever that means. All I was told was that I must have been exposed to "something" and that if I ever needed a transfusion I would need blood with those exact same antibodies. Well, that doesn't sound promising now does it? So while the doctor is explaining the risks of a transfusion this antibody thing is going through my mind and I just imagined how my body would react and I would go into shock and die. I'm serious! That's where my head was. Thankfully the bleeding stopped on its own and I didn't need a transfusion.
The next thing they did was an ultrasound to see if perhaps some of the placenta had been left behind and was causing the bleeding, but they didn't see anything. They performed a pelvic exam to see if there were any tears causing the bleeding, which was loads of fun less than a week after having a baby. They also did a quick in and out catheter for a urine sample because I guess they thought I wasn't having enough fun already. They tested my blood to check my platelet count, which was 186! That is higher than it has ever been and well within safe range! Platelets are important for blood clotting and during my pregnancy I ranged between around 95-110. That is technically safe but lower than they're supposed to be, so that brings me to another "God thing." He was so good to me throughout my whole pregnancy, labor, birth, and postpartum recovery. I don't want to forget a thing He did for me and I want Him to get all the glory. It was about a week or so before I had Joel that I felt impressed to take communion. I had a lot of issues going on at that point. My platelets were still considered low, I was newly anemic, my blood sugar had been all over the place, and I was nearing my due date so my body was just tired. I believe God wants His children healed and when we partake in communion we are declaring that because Jesus died on the cross and gave His body over to be beaten we have healing by the stripes He took on His back (1 Peter 2:24). So I took communion believing for my blood especially to be healed, and my platelet count went up! This all dawned on me days later, but I believe that God's promises were fulfilled in my body. I am safe and sound- rescued from danger, injury, peril, and disease- made well and restored to health! The ER couldn't find any reason for the bleeding so I was sent home (in hospital socks and paper pants since I forgot my shoes and my shorts were ruined) to worry about it happening again.
Maybe it was irrational, but I was gripped with fear after that incident. The thought of actually dying was a big wake up call that I wanted to live! I mean really live this life I've been given. All I wanted to do at that point though was lie in bed and not move so I wouldn't bleed out again. I'm so glad Nick and the kids were so helpful during that time. A couple of nights later, I think it was Friday night, I was sitting on the bed and I felt another gush. I called Nick in the bedroom and told him in a panic what happened. I started shaking, my heart was racing, and my teeth were chattering. I was paralyzed with fear. We prayed about it (again) and I finally got the courage to stand up and go to the bathroom only to find out that there was hardly any blood. I was still so scared to move in case it started again. I realized then that this wasn't just an ordinary fear. It was a tormenting fear and I knew that it came from satan. I wanted to get rid of it but I didn't know what else to do. That night before bed, Nick told me that he felt like God wanted him to play Kari Jobe's song, "Healer," on repeat all night. That went in my ears and in my spirit all night as we slept. Every time I woke up I heard those words and by morning I felt so much better. While I was still worried about it, I was not tormented. The fear was lifted.
In all of that, God let me know of another thing He worked out for me. When we were on our way to the hospital from the birth center, I was a little worried about how they would treat me coming from the birth center. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for hospitals and doctors. I just know sometimes the more natural approach isn't always accepted in that setting. That was not the case for me though. I declined the erythromycin eye ointment, the Hep B shot, and the Vitamin K shot (I opted for the oral Vitamin K) and the doctor simply told me he had to explain the risks associated with those things, but that it was ultimately my choice. He wasn't rude or condescending. He just stated his case and after our conversation commented on how he could tell I had done my research, and he honored my decision as Joel's parent. There wasn't one person on staff that I came into contact with that treated me unkind. The huge thing for me was how open the doctor who delivered was to my desires. Without me even asking him to, he offered to put Joel on my chest as soon as he was born if he could, which is what I wanted. I forgot to ask him to wait a couple of minutes before cutting the cord, but my midwife told me that he actually didn't cut it immediately. I wouldn't have blamed him if he needed to, but it was nice to know that worked out without me even having to ask. When I went to the ER for the delayed postpartum hemorrhaging I found out that he is nicknamed the "male midwife." How cool is that? I didn't mention it, but the doctor on call when I first arrived leans heavily toward c-sections. He was scheduled to go teach a class though and had to leave shortly after I got there. I know sometimes c-sections are medically necessary but I didn't want to go through a major surgery unless I really needed to. God worked all things together for my good!
Sunday, August 5
I woke up feeling good so I decided to go to church for the first time since I had Joel. I felt great until shortly after I got to church when I started feeling very drained and weak. I mostly sat down while we were there but when I walked I could feel blood leaking out. I was in the nursery feeding Joel when church got out and Nick came to check on me. I told him we needed to leave straightaway instead of hanging around to talk to everyone like we normally do. I went home and stayed in bed the rest of the day regretting getting out of the house. That evening I went to the bathroom and passed two large clots. That was a new experience and really weird, not to mention scary. There was so much blood in the toilet I couldn't see how big they were but they were so big that I had to flush twice before they went down. I immediately went to google to see if that was normal (ha!). I wasn't bleeding heavy so I decided to wait it out (not having insurance will make you do that). My bleeding slowed down and I didn't pass anymore clots, although I did end up bleeding for over 7 weeks.
Joel is now almost 2 months old and we're both doing great. I have one more post to share where I'm going to reflect on the whole process and share a few more details for those of you who are actually still reading.
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