Lessons Learned
This is a reflection on the top 10 things I have learned in my first 10 years of mommy-hood.
1. I actually like grocery shopping...if I can go alone.
When life's demands leave me feeling essentially all-tapped-out, both physically and emotionally, I'm not a very nice person. I'm not as mean as I used to be though, so my family would say that's a good thing. Why the change? It's simple. I've learned two things. First, it helps me stay sane if I can just be alone occasionally. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. A trip to the store and Starbucks on the way home is (usually) enough to refresh. Secondly, I can't do it all, at least not at the same time, so I repeat the phrase "first things first" to myself at least 100 times a day. It has helped me to focus on the task at hand after prioritizing what is the most important thing at that moment.
2. The most important thing is...
.
I have a problem with losing my temper and yelling. I'm getting better because I have discovered my two main causes for this problem, and the first one (utter exhaustion) has improved greatly since I got my thyroid regulated. But I have learned that the longer bed time drags on, the shorter my fuse gets. That's why recently we have pushed bedtime back an hour. This gives us time to relax and even read a story or two before I'm so tired that I can't finish a sentence without yawning. It gives time for more snuggles and "just one more hug and kiss," and it makes for less yelling tomorrow as well. My second trigger is my desire to "get things done." There's one thing I love more than making a to-do list and that is marking things off my to-do list. It can be quite consuming, but I think I have finally learned that the list will still be there after I tend to those most important opportunities to show love. The key for me was making a list. If I have it on paper I know I won't forget and that gives me peace. Some people probably get freaked out by the length of the list, but it strangely comforts me.
3. Just when you think you have all figured out you realize that you don't.
Well, that's a no brainer. There have been so many times when I start to feel confident in my abilities and the kids throw some curve ball at me. For example, nap time. Thankfully, all of my children have been good nappers. Seth has followed the pattern nicely, up until a couple of weeks ago. What was once a dependable routine has now become hit or miss, which means my showers have become few and far between.
4. A tidy house doesn't always mean a clean house.
I have just about perfected the art of maintaining the appearance of a clean house. It does help that our floors are all some shade of brown, but what I have found to be a sanity saver for my clutter loathing self is daily clean-ups. Almost everyday before or after lunch we (me and all the kids) tidy up the whole house and literally chunk everything back to the room it belongs in. This takes about 5 minutes tops. We do the same thing at bedtime, and most nights toys and things are actually returned to their little homes. If I can do those two things, keep my kitchen cleaned, and a steady stream of laundry cycles going then I feel like I'm on top of things. Baby wipes and Lysol are my emergency bathroom clean-up tools. I usually take the trash out and break out the wipes while I'm letting Seth play in the tub after his bath. One quick spray of Lysol while the water is draining and I'm done. That is how I clean my house. The only time I sweep, mop, vacuum, or clean tubs is when I just can't stand the filth any longer. Usually that happens about once a month...or so. We won't even talk about dusting or changing sheets.
5. Trampolines aren't as fun after you've delivered three kids.
Lorelai weighed 8.5 nine days early, Toby weighed 9.11 on his due date, and Seth was 8.1 two weeks early. Enough said.
6. There is no such thing as Super Mom.
Lorelai said it best when she told me, "You may not think you're a perfect mom, but you're the perfect mom for me." I have found that the more real I am with another mom about my shortcomings and insecurities, the more I find out that I'm not alone! For real, lets quit acting like we're perfect and be happy with our efforts. Let's take our own advice and be happy when we do the best we can. Isn't that what we tell our kids?
7. It's OK to enjoy being "just a mom."
I love spending time with my kids. Lorelai has been in public school for the first time in her whole life, and I miss her. I realize now why I made the choice to homeschool, and I can't wait to have her back home with me. We're both counting down the days. They are only little for a little while, and I'm not ashamed of my choice to keep them as close to me as I can for as long as I can. Moms come from all different walks of life, and it is OK to be YOU. Every family is unique, and we shouldn't judge any mom, working outside the home or staying home in her pajamas all day, that is doing what she feels is best for her children.
8. Children are like mirrors.
It is true that we are all born with a sin nature, but it is quite a humbling experience the first time you see your child acting a certain way and there is no denying where they got it from. If nothing else, that very thing is enough to call for some serious soul searching and prayer for change.
9. Chocolate tastes better in closets.
10. Husbands are at their most attractive when they are helping with the kids.
I hear that husbands haven't always been so hands-on when it comes to raising children. They weren't even allowed in the delivery room when I was born, so from the very beginning there was the idea that the dad wasn't supposed to support the mom when it came to taking care of babies. A dad changing diapers was rare (if not unheard of) back then, but now most of my friends say that their husbands all share in diaper duty. Not only that, but some even get up at night to feed a bottle fed baby occasionally. All I can say is "THANK YOU, LORD, FOR A HELPFUL HUSBAND!" I am so glad I delivered my babies in the age of epidurals, disposable diapers, and equal opportunity parenting. I am blessed. Today is the 13th Anniversary of our marriage. That man has put up with the good, the bad, and the ugly from me. He's the best husband, baby daddy, and friend that I could ever have. I love you, Nicholas! Thanks for helping me navigate this parenting gig. Your support and encouragement make me a better mom and a better me. XOXO
1. I actually like grocery shopping...if I can go alone.
When life's demands leave me feeling essentially all-tapped-out, both physically and emotionally, I'm not a very nice person. I'm not as mean as I used to be though, so my family would say that's a good thing. Why the change? It's simple. I've learned two things. First, it helps me stay sane if I can just be alone occasionally. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. A trip to the store and Starbucks on the way home is (usually) enough to refresh. Secondly, I can't do it all, at least not at the same time, so I repeat the phrase "first things first" to myself at least 100 times a day. It has helped me to focus on the task at hand after prioritizing what is the most important thing at that moment.
2. The most important thing is...
.3. Just when you think you have all figured out you realize that you don't.
Well, that's a no brainer. There have been so many times when I start to feel confident in my abilities and the kids throw some curve ball at me. For example, nap time. Thankfully, all of my children have been good nappers. Seth has followed the pattern nicely, up until a couple of weeks ago. What was once a dependable routine has now become hit or miss, which means my showers have become few and far between.
4. A tidy house doesn't always mean a clean house.
5. Trampolines aren't as fun after you've delivered three kids.
Lorelai weighed 8.5 nine days early, Toby weighed 9.11 on his due date, and Seth was 8.1 two weeks early. Enough said.
6. There is no such thing as Super Mom.
7. It's OK to enjoy being "just a mom."
I love spending time with my kids. Lorelai has been in public school for the first time in her whole life, and I miss her. I realize now why I made the choice to homeschool, and I can't wait to have her back home with me. We're both counting down the days. They are only little for a little while, and I'm not ashamed of my choice to keep them as close to me as I can for as long as I can. Moms come from all different walks of life, and it is OK to be YOU. Every family is unique, and we shouldn't judge any mom, working outside the home or staying home in her pajamas all day, that is doing what she feels is best for her children.
8. Children are like mirrors.
It is true that we are all born with a sin nature, but it is quite a humbling experience the first time you see your child acting a certain way and there is no denying where they got it from. If nothing else, that very thing is enough to call for some serious soul searching and prayer for change.
9. Chocolate tastes better in closets.
10. Husbands are at their most attractive when they are helping with the kids.
I hear that husbands haven't always been so hands-on when it comes to raising children. They weren't even allowed in the delivery room when I was born, so from the very beginning there was the idea that the dad wasn't supposed to support the mom when it came to taking care of babies. A dad changing diapers was rare (if not unheard of) back then, but now most of my friends say that their husbands all share in diaper duty. Not only that, but some even get up at night to feed a bottle fed baby occasionally. All I can say is "THANK YOU, LORD, FOR A HELPFUL HUSBAND!" I am so glad I delivered my babies in the age of epidurals, disposable diapers, and equal opportunity parenting. I am blessed. Today is the 13th Anniversary of our marriage. That man has put up with the good, the bad, and the ugly from me. He's the best husband, baby daddy, and friend that I could ever have. I love you, Nicholas! Thanks for helping me navigate this parenting gig. Your support and encouragement make me a better mom and a better me. XOXO
My dad's cousin was a bachelor for several years, then got engaged. His fiance was getting the house ready before the wedding. She had new sheets, and asked when he last washed the sheets on his bed, so she'd know if it was time to change them. He said, "They were clean when I bought them, and I always shower before I go to bed..." She screamed then peeled the sheets off the bed and threw them in a hot wash! :o)
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